


Beautiful to me

by Emmerdale_fangirl



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Anger, Angst, Love, M/M, apoligises, set after the 16th
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 07:29:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6895573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmerdale_fangirl/pseuds/Emmerdale_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the 16th of May</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful to me

  
Get out of my house and out of my life

 

As soon as the words came out Aaron's mouth, he regretted them. Watching Robert walk away was the hardest part. As soon as the door shut behind Robert, a tear slid down Aaron's cheek and he sits down on one of the chairs at the table. Can't I make my own decisions? He asks himself. A few minutes later, Chas came into the backroom.

"Aaron, what's wrong, love?" Chas asks, concerned.

"I ended it," Aaron sobs, sitting back in his chair.

"With Robert? Why?" Chas asks, quickly.

"Can I not make my own decisions, mum? Am I to weak to be able to think for myself?" Aaron asks, ignoring his mum's question.

"No, of course your not. Did Robert say that?" Chas says, shaking her head before sitting next to her son.

"No but he thinks it. I know he does," Aaron says, quietly.

"What did he say?" Chas asks, putting her hands on Aaron's.

"Him and Charity were talking about the money my d- Gordon left for me and Liv. He said he'd talk me round anyway he can," Aaron explains, "it was probably just to help me but with the letter as well... He doesn't think I can make my own decisions."

"He's just trying to protect you," Chas says, stroking her son's hand softly, "he loves you."

"I know he does and I feel the same but I can think for myself. I don't need him protecting me from anything. I don't want him to because I'm not worth it. I'm not worth it, mum," Aaron admits, looking away.

"Aaron...look at me...look at me... Your worth that and more Aaron. You can't give up now," Chas says, startled.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything stupid. I just don't need him throwing his life away on me," Aaron says, before standing up and walking out the door.

 

Chas stays sat at the table for a few minutes after Aaron leaves. His words processing though her mind.

'I'm not worth it' , 'I don't need him throwing his life away on me'

Is that what he really thinks? Chas asks herself before pulling out her phone and ringing Robert.

 

*Ring Ring*

 

"Chas, what up."

"Don't give up on Aaron. Please."

"He ended it, Chas, not me."

"He thinks you don't think he's able to make his own decisions."

"Well he's wrong about that. I just don't want him to throw away that much money for nothing. Not when he could use it for so much."

"He doesn't want it, Robert. He made that pretty clear. He told me about yours and Charity's conversation."

"Don't start Chas. I only want what's best for him."

"I know and he knows as well but he can't shake the feeling that your trying to control him...again. With the letter..."

"Oh he told you then? I was trying to protect him then too."

"He doesn't need you to. You can't hide thing from him even if you think it'll hurt him. He's an adult, Robert and it was his choice to make."

"Do you think I don't know that! I was scared, okay, I was scared the letter would knock him back off track and he was starting to get his life back...he was starting to be happy."

"Yeah, I know. I'm not gonna lie...I'd probably have done the exact same thing because I love him but it's not fair, Robert. It's not fair that we are treating him like he can't deal with this but he can. I just wish he'd didn't need to."

"I know. You know...sometimes I just wish I'd never got him to tell me what 'he' did. How selfish does that sound?"

"No, no it doesn't sound selfish at all but I'm also glad I know now. I'm glad he told us so he's not suffering alone anymore."

"Is...is he okay? I mean...there must be some reason you called me."

"Just something he said. I don't know. I just wanted reassuring that your not gonna do what he wants..."

"what do you mean what he wants? What's he said?"

"That he doesn't want you wasting your life on him because he's not.....because he's not worth it."

"He said that? Where is he now, Chas?"

"Yeah, I don't know where he is. He left...told me he wasn't gonna do anything stupid. I'm worried about him Robert."

"He...he'll be okay, Chas. He's the bravest person I know and he won't give up."

"I'm just worried that he will. I'm worried that he thinks he's hurting us if he tells us what he's feeling. I'm worried that he'll hurt himself again."

"Let's not think like that. I'll be over in a minute."

"Alright."

**Phone line is cut off**

 

"What are you doing here?" Aaron says, as he walks into the backroom to see Robert.

"I'm not giving up on you. Not this time," Robert replies, determined.

"I told you to get out of my life and I meant it," Aaron states, his face unreadable.

"Who's gonna make me leave? I'm not going, Aaron, not that easy," Robert says, folding his arms over his chest.

"I'm not telling you again," Aaron shouts, anger building up inside him.

"What you gonna do? Punch me? I can't force you or stop you doing anything but I can make you listen. That's all I'm asking," Robert states, studying Aaron's face.

"You can't make me do anything. You can't control me anymore," Aaron says, stepping back, shocking himself at how vunrabile his voice sounds.

"I'm not trying to control you, Aaron. I'm trying to help. I know you can make your own decisions and I know you deserve to be able to do that but I'm not gonna apologise for trying to protect you," Robert explains. 

"Just get out, Robert. Just get out," Aaron shouts, anger rising inside him.

"Aaron, please. I love you and I'd never try and make you do anything you don't want to. I just want to talk, properly. I want you to tell me what your feeling and let me understand. I need you Aaron and I can't just walk away from what we have," Robert pleads.

"okay, okay. Ask me what you want to know," Aaron says, giving in before going to sit at the table, Robert joining him soon after.

"How do you feel?" Robert asks, carfully.

"Is this a therapy session because I don't need therapy," Aaron says, defensively.

"I just want to know how you feel Aaron. Without you trying to act okay so you don't hurt anyone. Be honest," Robert says, softly.

"You want me to tell the truth....okay, I'm not worth any of this, I'm not worth you caring about me. I don't deserve anyone to  help me, I don't deserve you. I just can't see why you are here, Robert..." Aaron explains, his walls crumbling all at once.

"I'm here because I love you," Robert says, softly.

"I don't deserve you throwing your life away just to try and fix me. I can't be fixed, Robert. I'm beyond it. I've always known it, I've always felt it. Ed, Jackson they both through their lives away for me. You've said it yourself, I destroyed Jackson, he wouldn't have crashed if it wasn't for me. He wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for me. Ed, he spend a year putting up with me but I pushed him away and he went. You, I destroyed your marriage out of spite and forced you to come out. I had no right to. I shouldn't have," Aaron rants, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Aaron, I'm not throwing my life away. I need you and your not broken at all. Your strong Aaron, your really strong and I love you. I deserved what you did, that and more. You need to stop thinking your not good enough because you are," Robert reasures, softly.

"What do you actually see in me Robert? What made you risk your marriage for me?" Aaron asks, quietly.

"Your beautiful to me. You've been though so much but you've still got a heart of gold and you never take the easy way out of anything if you don't think it's right. I admire you, Aaron, I admire you. My-my childhood wasn't half as bad as yours but mine made me bitter and annoyed, made me put a mask on to hide the true me to protect myself but you-you can still be the best person, a person that tries to understand everything..." Robert explains, "not that my mask worked with you anyway."

"Your childhood wasn't plane sailing either. I just don't get it though. Y-your dad favoured Andy because he wanted the farm?" Aaron states, slightly confused.

"Pretty much. But it wasn't just that. He saw Andy as the golden boy that couldn't do anything wrong but I was the son that had trouble following him around anywhere he went. No matter what i did I couldn't prove myself to him. I wanted to get a big job with lots of money and fancy cars and thing like that, to show him, to show him I could be successful. That I could make something of myself. That's probably why I hung onto Chrissie and home farm because I wanted him to be proud. I am the son of a farmer and you know the whole rules. You get a wife and have kids to carry on the generation of farmers and I'm with a man. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, of course I'm not but I don't think my dad would have approved at all," Robert explains, sighing deeply.

"He would be proud of you Robert. He would. Your perfect how you are now. Your being you without the mask. That's what I want you to be. I want to be able to trust you, Robert and I will be able to if we stop lying to each other," Aaron says, smiling softly, "this chat was really good. Can we just agree to tell each other if somethings bothering us from now on?"

"I'm game if you are," Robert says, smiling, feeling lighter now he's told Aaron about his dad.

"No more secrets or lies?" Aaron repeats.

"Deal," Robert says, leaning in to kiss Aaron passionatly on the lips.

"Get a room," Liv comments walking into the room making them both start laughing.


End file.
